my dearest
enemy
you know I’ve always
given everything
even when you weren’t
watching me
I felt you with me
mocking me
through failure to failure
I was happy even then
knowing I was giving comfort
to you how that must’ve felt
exotic your hatred of me
became something else
in your happiness
and powerlessness
although we’ll never meet
it gives me pleasure to know
you’ll be hurting
every time I succeed
I feel myself satisfied
realizing you’ll always be beaten
by disappointments
pride and envy
it’s too late to change
many things
but you don’t need to
forgive me
because you
live through me,
my dearest
enemy