So I got this NYFA Grant...

...and just when I was gonna pay everything off....

I find out that Hillai has moved back to NYC from Israel which means that everyone who played on "Insomnia"'s in town. Hmmm. I could stage the whole album, a twenty-something minute, 8-song meditation on middle age and death. Perfect for Halloween. OK; can I sing and play those basslines that I just made up in a few minutes? Maybe. Stay tuned to find out. 

Bugolgi Apparatus

Promotion 


it’s your turn to be 
that crazy person

the role has recently
been vacated 

you’ll have to face 
their cruelty directly 

stomaching the looks
of incomprehension 

it’ll cost a pretty penny 
thank god for insurance 

getting those thoughts out
at any price will surely be worth it

Lullabye 

 Lullabye


are we still in a lull

how long does it last

you seem depressed

why do you ask


i’d give you a call

if you’d respond

you might not be up

preferring down


my friend Carl used to savor one

paired with a wine

writing dead stars

without replies


i use the time

to be unproductive

putting existential goals in order

working seductions

Goddess of Irony 


the goddess of irony 

drowns the city with her laughter


then she offers assistance

after every disaster


you tell her you're leaving

she says, "not so soon."


she's busy using your heart

to clean up her room


you swear you'll miss her 

this she doesn't believe


you hide those pictures of her sister 

in the folder on your screen


everyone carries her egg

within the egg is a lie


you find out too late

it’s not what it takes to survive

Zyprexa Latuda 


I just watch everything and think

What the fuck is going on


I’m fine in my apartment

I see no reason to step out


I miss the city I miss the buzz

I just miss being young


But could you imagine stepping

Back into yesterday with what you know now


So I’m exiled in the suburbs

I’m that old crazy woman now


I won’t post more than a few pieces of art

It’s insane how everything is public


Where’s the dignity in that

When I get too lonely I just talk to my plants


You’ll never get me

The way you want me

Live with your regrets 

While I don’t have any


I had my fun

And now I’ve got my dignity 

Can’t step into that cesspool again 

Not with these heels


Traumarama 



I meet a lot of people 

coming out of trauma 


they make it sound thrilling 

connecting with something 


that gives them 

so much meaning 


before I can wish it 

could happen to me 


they’ve got me up to 

my bare sleeves

 

I breathe them in 

over my skin 


before I can tell 

what’s happening 


I’m feeling horrific visions 

blended with love 


resembling the predictions 

science warns us about 


I’m telling you all about it 

just telling you all about it

this again 

 


what we say and what we do 

in this world of thieves 

can I count on you 

to stick it to me


in everyone we’ve got

a mini-me 

pocket dictator 

mirror of society 


and I get down 

thinking about it 

get up putting it 

into pockets


work it out 

then bring the lucre home 

trying to make sense

of these hangovers


it’s the curse of work

hardship of birth

and the wonders 

of you 


searching everywhere

for one beautiful thing 

most days I surrender

to the ugly truth  


I’d like to believe 

I was wrong all along 

these signs me nothing

everyone is smart


but I’m haunted by those

Phil Ochs songs

not that naive to believe 

anything since has been done 


and you’re the answer 

to these imponderable questions 

don’t think I ever 

learned my lesson